what level of crazy

What level of crazy is it when you judge the fortune of your upcoming day on your vitamins?

There are three colors of gummies in the big plastic bottle on the bathroom counter: red, orange and yellow.

Each day I dutifully shake out two gummies and give thanks to the pharmaceutical gods for finding a way to shove 2000 IU of Vitamin D3 into a squishy, nearly sweet gumdrop.

I take two gummies each morning after rubbing moisturizer into my old lady wrinkled face and before pulling on my clothes.

I shake the gummies out into my palm and, without looking, extract two.  Not one, not three.  Two.

The red are worth 1 point.

The orange are worth 2 points.

The yellow cash in at 3 points each.

If it’s a 2 point day (red-red), I drag my feet believing that nothing good will come of the hours ahead.

If it’s a 3 or 4 point day (red-orange or orange-orange, yellow-red) I figure, “Eh. Let’s give it our best shot and see what happens.”,

If it is a 5 point day (orange-yellow) there’s a spring in my step.

And on the occasion- the happy day- in which I shake out a double yellow?  six points?! You can hear me singing all my way down to the coffee pot in the kitchen.

What level of crazy is that?

Just imagine what could happen if I upped my dose to 6000 IU.

Published by audreycadyscanlan

mother. wife. bishop. priest. hiker. cook. aspiring writer.

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